


Do you really love her?

by junewemeetagain (xshittylialife)



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-06-02 09:37:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19438774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xshittylialife/pseuds/junewemeetagain
Summary: Raven doesn't know how to handle that Murphy really proposed.





	Do you really love her?

**Author's Note:**

> So hello, I guess?  
> This is my first fic ever published so enjoy I guess. I just went through the entire murven tag and well I need more.  
> There is cheating involved so if you are not a fan of that maybe don't read.

It was weird but Murphy was probably more excited for telling Raven about finally proposing than the proposal itself. Or it wasnt really weird, it was just Murphy's normal. 

He was on his way to Becca's Lab, the bar where they always celebrated big stuff, and also Raven and Murphy just used to get drunk there occasionally. According to Emori's texts they were already there, Raven was supposedly hammered, although he wouldn't believe that until he saw it himself. The girl can handle her alcohol very well, he knows that very well. 

As he opened the door he was already half blind from the blinds but he just followed the instructions Emori gave him. He tried to stay at the side of the dance floor, get around people, don't touch many of them because honestly they were disgusting. That was until someone jumped on his back and he automatically supported them. As soon as he felt the leg brace he turned his head, Raven just put a sloppy kiss on his cheek.  
"You're late, dickhead!" she shouted, loud enough that he could hear her over the music.  
"Bad traffic," he smiled and just continued his journey to the table with her on his back. As soon as he caught Emori's eye she just raised her eyebrows. He just smiled and put Raven down to sit and slumped next to her.  
"You were right, she is out of it!"  
"I'm perfectly okay, okay?" she put a finger before his face and he just smacked it away. 

"The big announcement? Will you finally put us out of our misery?" joined the conversation Clarke instead of greetings.  
"Oh yeah we getting married, how was your day?" he took a sip from Raven's glass.  
He caught her eyes, mocking her, but she was completely frozen, just looking at him, her mouth open.  
"You don't need any more," he winked setting her now empty glass down but she was still staring at him. It almost looked like she was... Offended? Dissapointed? He usually knew how to read her very well but now there was something off with her. 

The congratulations and shouting from the rest of the group got to him and he just gave his attention to them instead, but he couldn't help it, every few seconds his eyes went back to Raven's shocked face. Then she stood up and just run to the toilets and he winced. Something was definitely off. 

Clarke went after her. To be fair not only Clarke, Emori and Harper also joined her, but they soon came back telling them that she only wanted Clarke there, what was definitely weird.  
Not that they weren't friends. All of them were friends. But Clarke and Raven had this tension between them ever since Shaw died. It wasn't Clarke's fault. It was a mugging gone wrong and yeah, Raven shouted at her some ugly words when Clarke came out of the ER to tell them that she couldn't save him. But it wasn't Clarke's fault, Raven knew that of course, but it's easier to have someone to blame. Raven blamed Clarke. Clarke blamed herself and then he had to listen to Bellamy whining literally hours about how he doesn't know how to make either of them stop with the blaming. 

He stood up before he really registered what he was doing and just went straight for the women's bathroom. He didn't really think it over just went in and immediately backed out as he was met with shouting from like a thousand unknown women.  
"Murphy?"  
He turned around to find Clarke coming out of the disabled bathroom with big OUT OF ORDER sign over its door. Of course Raven doesn't want anyone to see her.  
"Water of anything?"  
"What?" Clarke furrowed her eyebrows and he just rolled his eyes.  
"Does she need something?"  
"Probably just go home and sleep it off, " she scratched her neck and he knew that motion. It was the same tell that Bellamy had, they probably caught it from the other, disgusting lovebirds.  
Something was definitely wrong.  
"I can take her I am probably the most sober one,"  
He already went for the door but she put a hand on his chest.  
"It's your engagement party, you should just go back. I already called her an Uber. It's all she asked for," she was looking him straight in the eyes but he knew her well enough to know it's bullshit. Did he hit a nerve or something? Was it too soon after Shaw to mention relationships? 

He just went around Clarke and burst in. Raven was sitting in the corner her hair let down from the ponytail. He probably saw her like this only two times before. It's wasn't her hair that made him stop in the tracks but the fact that she was crying. RAVEN FUCKING REYES the strongest person he knew, and she was CRYING. His brain didn't know how to process that but his body was already moving.  
"Hey, hey, Reyes, I'm here, " he heard himself say and she just started sobbing louder. That wasn't really encouraging but either way he just started wiping her tears from her cheeks.  
"The Uber is here," he heard Clarke say, quiet and weak, unsure.  
He was holding her in his arms before he knew it and she just wrapped her hands around him which he was thankful for. She didn't push him away. That was good news. 

He heard some of Clarke's protests, which had very weak arguments. One pointed look from him and she just sighed loudly and opened the car door for him.  
"Take care of her please, "  
"Fuck off Clarke, " he huffed as he closed the door behind him and the driver just looked at them in the review mirror and started driving. 

"Tough night?"  
"A really good engagement party I guess," he laughed a little, although he didn't feel like it.  
"Congratulations then. You look good together, I bet even better when sober, " he laughed loudly. He didn't have the energy to explain that this woman in his arms wasn't his significant other so he just nodded and just put his head on hers.  
The ride to Raven's apartment didn't last long and thankfully she lived on the ground floor (it was because of him, and he would feel quilty later as many times before, he was sure).  
He disconnected her unfuntional doorbell took out a key from the hole behind it and unlocked the door, all while holding her with one hand. He then took her into his arms again and just carried her inside slamming the door behind him with his feet. 

Her apartment was small but cozy, he always liked it. He liked everything about Raven that was no surprise. 

He went straight for the bedroom and just carefully put her down on the bed.  
"Carry me more please, " he heard her mumble and just laughed.  
"I will carry you wherever you want but right know, we need to get you to sleep. "  
"Carry me far away from here, please. Paralel dimension seems good right now. Do you think we would be happy there?" she opened her eyes then and just looked at him. The room was full of light from the street, her blinds not closed, so he just went to close them. The lamp on the nightstand turned on and she was still looking at him. 

" Do you love her? "  
" Emori? Yeah, I guess, " he didn't know why he sudennly felt so awkward, like he did something bad.  
"You guess? You guess and then go and marry her? "  
"We're not married, only engaged. There is a difference. Things can still go to shit, you know me and my luck," he smiled and took of her shoes putting them next to her bed.  
"Believe me your luck isn't as bad as mine, " she chuckled and then just stretched on her back.  
"The brace please, "  
Without hesitation he started undoing the brace and she just watched him.  
He put it down next to her nightstand and just looked up to her, smiling smugly. 

"Any other requests, your Highness?"  
"Take off my pants, " she said without a blink. He just raised his eyebrows but stood up looking up and down her body. Oh how does he wish he drank some more. Not nearly drunk enough to deal with platonically undressing Raven Reyes.  
Either way, he unbottoned her pants and just looked at her.  
"You can't call it harassment if it was your order, " he mumbled and she just laughed. 

He started taking off her jeans, pulling them hard, the skinny material not really helping. He tried not to stare at her really pretty and sexy black lacy underwear, he really tried. Trying counts, right? 

When they were at her ankles she helped him and he just looked up her vidy and honestly Raven was always beautiful in his mind but seeing her from this angle... He wanted to do things no engaged best friend should do.  
"Now my shirt, " she said and he just raised his eyebrows at her again. She repeated the notion and he just rolled his eyes.  
"Is this getting you off? Do you always do this? I know now why Clarke wanted to go instead,"  
"The shirt, " she just said and he laughed and sat on the bed next to her and started unbotttoning her blouse. The buttons were very small and kept slipping out of his fingers so at least he concentrated on that and not on her matching lacy bra trough which he could very visibly see her nipples.  
"matching underwear, planned to score tonight Reyes?"  
"The only one I would even consider isn't available, " she sighed and he just nodded. Suddenly he didn't know how to meet her gaze. 

She touched his knee just then he looked at her.  
"Do you love her Murphy? Do you really really love her? Like Bellamy and Clarke love her?"  
That wasn't really the question he expected. But he never lied to Raven and he wasn't about to start.  
"I don't know. I think I love her enough. That's what love is, isn't it? Just someone that you don't completely hate like everyone else?"  
She laughed softly and he couldn't help but smiled too. But then her smile slowly faded and she just looked at him and again he just forgot how to breath. 

Raven Reyes was one hell of a breathtaking woman he had to admit. Even with her clothes on. And now... He didn't even want to continue that train od thoughts. 

"Take it off, " she whispered and he was confused for a second. Take what...  
"Take it off, " she said more promptly, just completely relaxing on the bed and he raised his eyebrows. His hands went for the bra before his brain even decided but she smacked his hand away.  
"Down there first, " she said and he didn't know why that turned him on so much but... God.  
He knew it was wrong and he stood up and saw the dissapointment in her eyes that quickly disappeared when he just kneeled between her legs. His hands were on her hips when she smirked at him.  
"With your teeth," she whispered but he heard her well enough and he felt his dick twitch in his pants. He lied down almost fully and maintained eye contact with her almost waiting for her to push him away. He was about an inch away from her underwear and still no regret in her look. He tried to think about if he will regret this but he knew there will always be only one thing he will regret doing to Raven Reyes and this is not it. 

His teeth sanked into the lace somehow clumsily and he thought she will laugh but only one sound came out of her and oh yeah she probably didn't mind his clumsiness. He felt how wet she really was on his second try and now that sound came out of his throat. 

"Fuck Reyes, " that was the moment he completely let off everything holding him back, his teeth caught the lace and instead of dragging it down they just teared it apart. He wanted to taste her so bad and the satisfied sighs only pushed him more and more. His tongue sanked into her almost immediately, her hand appeared in his hair and he didn't have to pray to any God anymore when he had her right before him. Suddenly religion seemed very appealing. 

He tried to fuck her with his tongue, which Emori never liked, but Raven seemed to enjoy very much so he just went with that.  
"Take of your shirt, " she said out of breath and he stopped and just looked at her. He took it off just as she asked because he didn't even know where is the line anymore, what he would say no to anymore. 

"Pants, " was the next order and he was already undoing his belt. He stood up from the bed and let them fall to his knees and just stepped out of them and he saw how she was scouring him, taking in every part of his body and he suddenly felt very insecure. That's probably what happens when you stand against Raven Reyes, the goddess herself. 

"Fuck me, " she whispered and he just took off his boxers. She took off her bra and just hurled it at him.  
"Fuck me real good, John," she said mockingly and God how could she make even that sound so sexy. Maybe he had some kinks he didn't knew about.  
He went back between her legs again just scouring her eyes for some signs of discomfort. Maybe then it came to him she was drunk and probably wouldn't remeber this but before he could said anything she turned them over and now she was hovering over him.  
"I really really need you to fuck me right now, " she whispered as she left a small kiss on his shoulder blade and his brain stopped working. She was on his dick in matter of seconds and God he loved having her in control but he felt the strain from her left leg and turned them over while he was still inside her.  
He let the bad leg down only allowing her to put the good one up on him as he trusted into her and she closed her eyes pulled him closer to her. 

He wanted to fuck her so good her genius brain would stop working for once. He wanted to fuck her so good that she would from now on whisper his name in every wet dream. He wanted to make love to her and that was definitely on the list but the orders were different for this and based on how loudly she seemed to enjoy it he didn't want to change it up now. 

She came suddenly unexpectantly and he fucked her through that just slowing down when she nodded. The rhythm became more sensual and God he was so close, he was so close, but he needed more for her, he needed her to feel everything he didn't have the guts to say, but he was too close and as he pulled out he came all over her thigh and he just swore. 

"Fuck, I'm sorry, " he whispered and she just shook her head.  
"I think this is what it feels like to have brains fucked out of you, " she laughed and he just smiled brightly reaching for the tissues at her bed and wiping down her leg. He threw it in the trashcan in the corner and just came back to her, lying down next to her, looking at her. 

She kissed him then and he didn't even think about how they never kissed during that before but now, he wanted to do it all over again but kiss every part of her body, but mostly her lips, God her lips.  
"I'm so sorry, " she whispered against his lips and he just opened his eyes. Only now was he really confused.  
"What for?"  
"I used you, "  
"You did?"  
"You're engaged and I'm so selfish. I know you would do anything for me because of the leg. And I used that. I used you, " now she was crying again and he just laughed he couldn't help himself. That earned him a hit in the chest and he laughed some more.  
"Reyes you are like the peak of my entire life. I would do anything for you even if I didn't fuck up your leg, "  
"Stop, because I feel like crying again. "  
"Please don't. I really don't know how to handle that and we can't really call Clarke now, "  
"Clarke only stayed because she was the only one who really knew what was going on?"  
"So... What was going on?"  
He knew he shouldn't maybe ask but just... He hoped he already knew the right answer. He maybe just hoped... Even if it was messed up, he hoped... 

"I always thought that you would soon break up with her. That sooner or later, probably sooner, you would just fuck it up and she would leave and you would spend the next month moping at my apartment. We could go drink to all the shitty bars and just... Be us. And then you have to go and propose. I hoped we had a future together Murphy, " it sounded so stupid and she probably knew because she cringed as soon as she finished the speech and just hid her face in his chest just clearly annoyed. 

" I never even thought I stood a chance with you, " he admitted, really quietly and for a while they both just lied like that. 

"Do you love her?" she asked again.  
"Not as much as I could love you, " he breathed out. 

"I fucking hate cheaters, "  
"Guess just one more reason to hate me then" he huffed and she just breathed out. 

"I'm sorry I got drunk and seduced you, "  
"I'm glad for that, I just wish it was when I was single. Doesn't matter. Soon I will be. Then we can figure this out, " 

"I'm sorry if Emori is the one and I fucked up your life, "  
"I'm sorry that I fucked up your life, " was all he said. He got one more kiss on his jaw and then he just closed his eyes. And although the quilt of cheating was coming to him, the feeling of just how right this is kind of was worth it.


End file.
